6:50 Tim wakes me up with coffee. One baby is already up, two more to go. It’s a preschool morning so we all have to get moving soon. I slip on my favorite compression socks. It’s going to be a good day.
7:36 Tim leaves. Titus never woke up so I go and wake him up and bribe him out of bed with chocolate toast- aka Aldi Nutella. Works every time. He’s my son.
8:05 Tim texts that the roads are slick. Already winded from dressing three little people, I gear up in the “big purple”: matching LLbean snow sneakers, gloves, and full body down coat (could be confused for a sleeping bag, caterpillar, or large bottle of Merlot). Miraculously my belly still zips into it. The back yard is flooded, then iced over. I’m so scared I’m going to fall. I carry all three kids from the back door to the van, one at a time, stopping to change Titus into new shoes. He did not heed my warning and tried to charge through it himself and got his feet wet.
8:35 Only slightly late to school but incredibly happy to get there without incident. Tackled the umbrella double stroller into submission. The single stroller broke, and I don’t really know how to get this honking thing up and running yet. The big boys sit in it and I carry Benji in. Several people comment on my full hands into the school. We stop in Miss Debbie’s room to take Matthias to the bathroom. He’s already peed his pants on the way. Potty training is not for the faint of heart. Titus is given a stellar progress report and teacher sees no need for teacher conference. Thank God, because conferencing with my circus will not be a possibility. I laugh all the way back to the car and as I ninja kick my stroller back into my car. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.
9:15 I’m crying. Got my other two kids back into the house. Got Matthias out of his wet pants and he peed five minutes later again on the ground. For about an hour and a half I tend to the toileting and diapering of my littles. So much poop. So much diaper rash. So many accidents. So much laundry. Somehow I manage to start the dishwasher before i have to leave for school pick up. Oh, and buy a new light fixture for our dining room from target with a coupon code. Tim is going to re-drywall the massive hole in our ceiling this weekend and decided he might as well replace the old chandelier while he’s at it. I try not to be too giddy at the thought, but I’m nesting. I can’t help myself.
12:00 We are home from preschool. Mom calls. I tell her I’ll call her back. Matthias is actually pooping on the potty! YAY EVERYONE GETS M&MS!! Call mom back. She tells me she is going to come visit for A WHOLE WEEK at the beginning of February AND she is going to come back when Solomon is born. I can’t help it. I’m crying again. Titus asks me what hurts. Nothing baby, mommy is crying happy tears! Don’t call me baby.I’m a big kid. I’m sorry, baby. I mean, I’m sorry big kid.
1:00 Littles down for naps. Titus and me have Jesus Storybook Bible time. Then he watches Wild Kratts while I have some quiet time upstairs. He decides himself that autobots is too scary. I read over this week’s homework of the Bible Study I’m teaching. I write a blog for the first time in months on 1 John 3:1-3. Martha, my 97 year old neighbor calls me twice, once just to check in, the second time to speak with me about her telephone problems. I google cincinnati bell’s number for her. She doesn’t believe in google, or maybe she would, if she believed in computers. We chat several times on the phone each week, but most of the conversations last about 2 minutes. Seems her phone is working fine to me, but I don’t mention that to her. Every time she calls, I’m relieved to know she is doing okay.
2:30 Crap I have to go! I pack up Benji’s diaper bag for his four hour visitation with his parents. I have to wake the littles up and they hate me for it. I clip Benji’s nails, because I always want his parents to know he is well cared for, and what if they don’t think I ever clip his nails? I carry everyone back into the van one by one, in addition to little tikes chairs I’m hoping to sell at Once Upon a Child.
3:00 Drop Benji off at visit. My heart breaks into a million pieces when I hand him over to his bio mom and he reaches back for me. I can’t stop thinking about that moment. Does he think I am abandoning him? One day will I have to do this for good? Stop thinking about it Jillian. Pray in the van most of the way to Beavercreek.
3:45 Once Upon a Child didn’t buy the chairs, but they will donate them to a family in need. That makes me very happy. We descend upon the 4T aisle. The boys have a dance party and charm everyone in the store, and I do too when I find out it is a winter clearance day! We have a good rhythm for about 15 min, then all hell breaks loose and I *almost* cry with relief when Tim shows up to assist after he gets off work. We make it out of the store alive, and with a new wardrobe for Titus that I hope lasts us four boys.
5:00 Chikfila, because we have two free sandwiches in rewards, and because Tim can let the kids play in the play place while I grocery shop...BY MYSELF.
5:30 Aldi, sipping my cookies and cream milkshake and buying all the things for a freezer cooking Saturday. I’m hoping to make six meals for after the baby is born. Aldi is so cheap it’s ridiculous. But I swipe my Chase Sapphire Preferred because every little bit counts towards the points that will fly us to Europe for our ten year anniversary. I daydream in the checkout line about drinking wine on a vineyard somewhere in Italy. My daydream is brought back to reality when I realize I left several of my bags at home. I say a prayer that my blueberries and eggs don’t go fancy free all over the dysfunctional strollers in my trunk.
6:30 On my way home with the “bigs” while Tim goes to pick up Benji. I listen to a Barbara Kingsolver novel on audible on the way home. It almost puts me to sleep. I stop to slip the crescent rolls I bought Natalie in her mailbox. Lucy’s birthday is tomorrow and she’s making my mom’s recipe sausage breakfast. I unload the kids and groceries by myself. When Tim gets home, I take Benji upstairs and give him the full treatment- lotion, diaper cream, nighttime diaper, jammies, milk and extra snuggles. Everyone hugs him and tells him how much we love him, except Matthias, the booger, who refuses like the two year old moody Judy he is. Visit nights are hard on all of us.
8:00 Everybody asleep and I’m writing this, because this day is so completely representative of our life right now. It is blurry and hard and wonderful and back breaking and silly and tearful and hilarious. God is faithful and abundantly supplied for all our needs and more this day. He was with us. And goes before us. I don’t want to forget. I’m so tired in all the ways, but so thankful.